No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
