And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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