She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
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