we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
