Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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