I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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