I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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