worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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