I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
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Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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