her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize