we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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