There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
