New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
