I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
