im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
