i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
