Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
