We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
