I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.