Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
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Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
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I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick