the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
USA USA USA
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck