haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
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Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
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I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...