you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.