i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
