If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
