Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
