If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
