When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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