I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize