Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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