I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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