So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize