He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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