Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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