If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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