would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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