Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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