I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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