just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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