Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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