Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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