Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
