You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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