I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
