remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
