dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
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Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
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Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka