We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.