i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
where are you?
Hypothermia
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
