Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
