i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
