She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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