Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
