I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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