ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
