Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
