Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
