my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize