i think my mom watched the whole time
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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