how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
