I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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