he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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