If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I said "one day" and that day is not today
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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