it was like his penis was on wheels.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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