I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
