You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
