11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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