one two three fourrrrnication!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
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I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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