Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
