she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
