Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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