Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
